I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. - Gilda Radner
MRI needed but... had massive Panic Attack
I have had MRI's before. I hated it. I have struggled through them. However the other day, I got halfway done and freaked out. The being in that tiny tube and the loud noise and not being able to move was just too much. I think the ones where I was able to watch tv and put on something funny helped me. I had music going but it kept having songs that I just didn't care for either. I literally had to get out of there and it took me a couple of days to recover from this panic attack. I didn't want to be near people or anything stimulus afterward. I laid in bed playing mindless games on my phone. In about another week or so, I am supposed to go back and try again at a different facility. apparently, the nurses there can give me something to calm my nerves. Just thinking about going back is triggering my anxiety. I am in massive lower back hip and leg and knee pain. The xrays were done. I can't go through with the MRI. I just can't. apparently, there are some problems with my discs in my lower back and in my hips but my doctor wanted more tests. Is there anything else I can ask to be done? I just don't want to do this MRI. I have numbness and shooting pain in my legs and joint pain in my hips and knees. Doctors believe I have Fibro, Arthritis, but not Rheumatoid. My tests they say don't show RA but I do have chronic joint pain and hypothyroidism. I also have a massive pain in my hands and arms and elbows and wrists and neck and shoulders. I just am a huge body of pain. I just want to find relief.
by marcus at 2018-11-19T17:27:39
Anxiety | Chronic Pain
I haven’t bought groceries in over a month because my anxiety won’t let me.
Every time I try to tell myself it’s time to buy groceries I can’t get myself around to it. My anxiety tells me that spending money on that is a waste, that I should save it in case of an emergency. Last week I got really sick because I haven’t been eating more than some chips or some crackers here and there. I had to take off of work for two days. Which of course makes everything worse because now I have two fewer days of money. Finances have always been a trigger for my anxiety. It’s just never been like this before. I’ve been stealing food from my roommate and I feel so guilty. I just can’t come around to spending money. I would appreciate any advice or support. This is really a tough time for me. Thank you guys.
by sally at 2018-11-19T17:13:24