Daughter With Bulimia
I recently discovered that my daughter is struggling with bulimia. She had an evaluation today at an ED program, and resident or day treatment options were suggested. Unfortunately, after we left, I was informed that our insurance doesn’t cover their services. Ugh. I applied for new insurance that does cover the program, but it doesn’t take effect until Jan 1st, 2019. How can I support and help her until she can get into the program? I can’t watch her 24/7 and want to do what I can for her to be healthy, but don’t want her to feel as if I’m trying to fix or control her. Any advice would be really appreciated.
by sally at 2018-11-19T17:01:10
Does your insurance cover services at another treatment facility? Not sure if there's another one in your area or state. If they will cover it somewhere but you think this program is a better option than you could talk to them/your insurance to see if they will do a single case agreement to get your daughter started so she has support asap. In the mean time find a the******, registered dietician and possibly psychiatrist who specialize/have lots of experience working with eating disorders. Psychology today's website is really good for finding the******s/psychologists in your area, you can filter by insurance, and eating disorders. Finding a family the****** who has experience with eating disorders could be a great resource for you so you can learn how to best navigate this with your daughter and be a great support person. Sounds like you're already on the right track with that and wanting to do the right things for your daughter. This is not an easy road, but in the end it will be worth it!
by chris at 2018-11-19T17:27:28
Congratulations on supporting your daughter, you’re already doing so much with research and reaching out. You’re a good parent for that alone and I know that will mean the world to her. I struggled with bulimia for six years. I opened up to my mom about it after her asking several times. At the time, my disabled little sister was battling leukemia and I wanted to be a better role model for her. Not only that but it was killing me and my mom knew something was terribly wrong. My hair was falling out, I couldn’t keep any food down, and it physically hurt me to get out of bed since I was so dehydrated and depleted of electrolytes. She stressed the importance of getting help and was really supportive. Everyone with an ED knows they need help at some level, and it helps when a family member stresses that. Ask her what you can do in the meantime, my mom simply asked me “what can I do to make you feel better right now?” For me, mine stemmed from my anxiety and past experiences I had. You can only go to therapy once or twice a week, it’s really about making everyday better. Sometimes it’s just about going to a movie and keeping her mind off of things. If she has any interests that she wants to pursue, make time in her schedule to focus on things that keep her happy (music, dancing, etc.). Focus on self-care for her, like bath bombs and face masks. Skincare became HUGE in my recovery since it was physical stimuli. My mom just holding my hand through it and focusing on the little things really helped me through it. In terms of normalizing and having a healthy relationship with food, eating mostly vegan really helped me because I was proud of what I was putting in my body since I knew it made a positive impact on the environment and I never felt bloated or gross after, even if it was dairy free Ben & Jerry’s. I started cycling and getting fresh air and that helped too. But everyone is different, find out what she loves and envelop her in that. And when she wants to talk, give her a hug and tell her that you’re proud of her. Focus on positive reinforcement. ED recovery takes a long time, it’s like addiction. Congratulate her on the baby steps and make everyday something to be happy about. Props to you though, you’re doing the right thing as a parent and I’m proud of you and I know she will be too! Best of luck to both of you :)
by jessica at 2018-11-19T17:27:17
If she is in school you should encourage her to talk to the counselor while you wait for the insurance. At home there should be open communication. Since it’s already out in the open she should know that she can come and talk to you about what’s bothering her, but you also need to be able to communicate with her in a constructive way. A school counselor can help with exercises and things you can do together to build trust and openness. This is really important with the holidays coming up since they are so focused around eating. This time of year is stressful anyway so your whole family needs to have ways of dealing with this stress so it won’t turn into a huge bubble that bursts into a fight. An activity I used to do with my family was playing board games. I wish we would have done that more because you’re interacting with each other, unlike when you’re watching tv or a movie, and it’s not centered around eating. Finding ways to bond without food being present (like at all) would help her a lot. Personally, I get anxious spending time with my family because I know that the event will be centered around food. It ****s, and I just want to spend time with them without having to worry about eating. I hope I gave you some good advice. It’s going to be really frustrating seeing your daughter go through this. It’s really hard for people without eating disorders to understand people with eating disorders. I think the other commenter who suggested getting your daughter books is right, and I’d also like to add that you should get books for members of the rest of the family, too. I wish you the best of luck and good luck to your daughter on her road to recovery! Your full support will help her immensely.
by jordan at 2018-11-19T17:27:03
I couldn't afford therapy/programs for a long time for my binge eating disorder and I did an online program called "School of Recovery" by Jessica Flint of recovery warriors. There are a bunch of podcasts she put out in the last couple years called "the recovery warrior show" and I highly recommend listening to that. I believe she also has podcasts/resources/blogposts about being someone with an ED loved one so it could help guide you on how to react to your daughter's behaviours. Good on you for being so supportive and proactive. Whether she starts now or in January, she will be ok <3 I have had an eating disorder for more than 20 years and I'm getting over it and I'm ok. I also recommend the book "Life Without Ed" by Jenny Schaffer.
by marcus at 2018-11-19T17:26:53
Buy some books she might read about recovery. That is how I started and it was a good start before going into recovery.
by lilly at 2018-11-19T17:26:45
It's a difficult situation, but try to avoid focusing on the behaviors that are a symptom of something deeper. It's easy to get caught up in what we can see or what we know to be unhealthy behaviors, but healing takes resolving the issues driving those urges to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Ask her how you can support her. Go to the NEDA website and read about ways loved ones can be of help. Be sure you are getting the support you need as well, because dealing with and supporting someone with an eating disorder can be difficult. I hope your daughter can begin to recover. There's no shame in struggling. She just needs to find healthier coping strategies and get to the root of why she's feeling these urges.
by john at 2018-11-19T17:26:36