I often wish I never planned things.
I'm hosting a dinner for some extended family tonight, and they are due to arrive in 20 minutes. My pain is bad and I'm in sensory overload from having company all weekend. I wish I could say please leave me alone. I can't seem to concentrate on what needs to be done to make a simple dinner, and I'm so tired to fake a happy exterior. Blah. Just venting. I know I'm putting additional stress on my husband. I want so badly to cry and it won't come out. Plus, it's super fun to entertain folks when your legs won't tolerate wearing pants.
by john at 2018-11-19T16:43:32
Chronic Pain
That sounds like crazy stress to have guests over. I know what you mean about getting worn down. I make plans when I feel good as if I had perfect stamina, and then when it comes time to do stuff I realize wait, I’m quite ill... Last thanksgiving I made an entirely gluten free 12 course meal for my girlfriends co-workers, while vying with her mom (who had been at our house for a month) for kitchen space. It happened to be on a day where I got glutened or the unknown immune reaction that makes me agitated, very confused and overall mentally shaky. I’ve had to pretty much cut out having a girlfriend because I get drawn into situations like what you’re saying. I have to strictly control what I do which means what everyone else does, which would mean saying omg, there’s no way in hell we are having guests over - sorry - and then I get labeled a ‘control freak’, which is really frustrating since I’m just guarding my health.
by jake at 2018-11-19T17:07:35
I hope it went well OP. I wish I could upvote this more than once. Family and holidays are regular stressors add in the uncertainty of a chronic condition and it just breeds anxiety. You’re not alone...
by chris at 2018-11-19T17:07:16
I feel you. I’m sorry. I know that story too well. I tend to make plans on particularly “good” days (feeling less pain), only to be in complete regret when those plans actually roll around because I’ll likely be having a “bad” day that day.
by jordan at 2018-11-19T17:07:02
So sorry. We totally understand. My sweet man put the dishes away. (I washed). He than cooked dinner. And put the food away. I cleaned house ( kinda) today and he knew I was done for. With the holidays coming we ALL need to pace ourselves and say NO.
by marcus at 2018-11-19T17:06:48
I feel so guilty being antisocial, but I feel this way a lot, too. I dread the Holidays now and it used to be my favorite time of year. Just thinking about the cooking and shopping and guests and pain makes me want to cry. Just keep in mind it won't last forever and they will go home, plan on spending the next day recovering and doing nothing else, allow yourself to cry in the bathroom if you need to, and remember that other people empathize and you aren't alone in feeling this way. You'll get through it! And, you can rant here anytime.
by lilly at 2018-11-19T17:06:25
I know that feeling well. I've become a bit of a shut in most of the time. All of my friends are online, I don't have any close friends in real life anymore. I just don't have the time or energy to get out and do stuff with people. I'm into cars and haven't even been able to make it to a cars and coffee meet in almost a year (and I haven't washed my car in almost 6 months). Wife and I rarely host anything at our house anymore except for holiday family stuff. Fortunately my wife's family are pretty understanding and they help out where they can. I almost always overdo it at those family events and end up worthless for the next 1-2 days. If it gets too bad I just bail upstairs and my wife's family will cover and finish the food. Sorry you're not doing well, I hope it gets better for you. Make sure you take care of yourself.
by sally at 2018-11-19T17:06:10
I know you are just venting but it is totally ok to: Order take out Take a break or several and go lay down for a while. Ask them nicely to leave by a certain time. I’m sure they will understand.
by jessica at 2018-11-19T17:05:05